When good gifts go bad

Dear Jessica, When I delivered a whole watermelon from the farmers' market to your house a few weeks ago...
...I fully intended to jab a knife in that thing...
...and crack it into a bunch of unfocused, juicy watermelon hunks for us all to sink our teeth into.
I figured I'd serve it up cold and slurp-worthy and we'd instantly be transported to a summery daydream together spitting slippery pits in refreshing, sticky, sweet, melon-y bliss.
Instead I spent three days distracted by your beautiful babies and then I left and then you left with them all for a few more days and then you came home to find this blemished, oozing, self-boozing, watermelon on your counter. Ick. It's alive!!!
To make it up to you I promise one day we'll eat chilled watermelon together at a posh Italian beach resort with forks and knives.
Or if you prefer, we can suck back slushy fresh watermelon shakes in Thailand. The choice is yours. My sincerest negligent fruit gifting apologies. Yours truly, Mary
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When good gifts go bad

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